Which kings couldn't speak English, or stammered when they could? Who were 'Softsword' and 'Sailor Bill'? Which king had 10 children with his mistress but none with his queen? Which kings were crowned twice? Which queen reigned for only nine days? Which king disappeared? Here is a comic strip with a difference, an alternative (and funnier) Bayeux Tapestry tracing every king and queen from Alfred the Great to Charles III-each of their vivid pen-and-ink-portraits encapsulating the personal quirks and dramatic social change of their reigns. This single-sheet poster-sized booklet unfolds the politics, passions, and pageantry of the English and later British Royal Family, from 871 to 2023: the tyrants, eccentrics, warriors, and murderers, as well as the saints, scholars, patrons, and philosophers, whose joint story this is.